The Dating Game Is Rigged!
The Dating Game is Rigged!
Clears cobwebs*
Surprise Surprise🎶
I know what you are thinking. ‘A blog post? It’s not even your birthday yet, Mena, we don’t deserveyou you
Don’t worry; it’s not much of an explanation for why I am here. The shege I have seen has dragged me here. I need to rant, and I need to do it here.
Let’s dive right in, shall we?
The Dating Game is Rigged, and you might not agree that it is, and that’s fine. The dating pool is a mess, and the ‘streets’ are empty yet filled with all manner of rubbish simultaneously.
What are we left with but people who mask their emotions? They do not want to love too much, show too much, or care too much for a person they claim to be emotionally invested in, and if you check, it’s because they have also seen shege too, but some people are wicked for the fun of it, and I have proof.
Here are three reasons I think the Dating game is rigged:
- People with good intentions rarely meet people with good intentions. Why can’t two genuinely finished people not be together? Why does it always have to be one party doing more than the other? Why must one person ‘manage’ and ‘maintain’ a relationship? I genuinely believe emotionally available people should go for emotionally available people. Finished men with finished women. Abusive men for abusive women, so you both can fight and kill yourselves. Cheaters for Cheaters, Romantics for Romantics, e.t.c
- The dating is rigged because most people are not ready to do the work. Relationships go beyond fancy dates, gift-giving, and romance. This isn’t Bridgerton, and even if it was, hard conversations have to be had, compromises have to be made, and tough decisions have to be made. Wake up! You can’t be emotionally lazy and crave intense romance. Leave here, please.
- Some of you lie a lot! Jesus Christ! And the lies are so unprovoked, and you don’t even have the decency to weave a web of solid lies. The storyline of the lies is so weak it makes me feel foolish because you don’t think I am smart enough to figure it out. Do better or lie better. Just fix up.
In the time I have been away, I have experienced so many things. Emotionally, I have experienced a fair share of attachment(that has been reciprocated) and also detachment. Right now, I am contemplating putting AS on my bio so people with the same genotype do not even begin a conversation with me because nobody catches feelings faster than two AS persons.
Alongside the shege I’ve seen, I’ve also met married people or people in seemingly ‘stable’ relationships who go after me with so much vigor, and I’m wondering, ‘What is the game plan? What is your end game?’
Your heart belongs to someone else because you are in a relationship with them, so there's no justification for you moving to me. You are after one thing, and it is silly to mask it behind you being attracted to me. I was born at night, but not last night. I am not a child
Unrelatedly, when I finally meet the LOML, I will bite him first. Nothing too serious, but I have kissed many frogs (I don't even know if more dey front). Sniffs*
Again, I hate liars. Be honest. You are an adult, and no single person will beat you for telling the truth. And do you know what my favorite sport is? It’s running, yes, running away from bad energy and liars.
Admittedly, I can also be the problem sometimes, but a liar? No way! And that's why I encourage people who find my energy annoying to please, by all means, avoid me because if the tables flipped, I would do a 180-degree turn out of your life.
This blog post is just for me to rant, and I think I have said all I need to say until something pisses me off again, so let me give you this tip as a single person. By all means, as a single person, avoid people in the following categories:
- Married or Engaged (So they won’t use ‘I wish I met you before my wife/husband to choke you)
- People in relationships (even if the relationship is two days old)
- People in situationships, i.e., they are not here or there, your eyes will peel
- Bonus: People who only want to be Friends-with-benefits. It never ends well, my darling.
Anyway, how have you been since the last time I wrote to you?
I don’t know if I will return soon, but I have missed reading your comments and your experiences, so give me the tea!
How has the dating game been treating you?
Have you found ‘the one,’ or has the streets been cruel?
See you in the comments!
Love,
YG💜
P.S. I listened to Running by Ayra Starr ft Lojay
My dearest Yardgirl, you took the words out of my mouth. The streets are nasty, and just like you highlighted in people with seemingly stable relationships, so is whatever goes on in relationships these days. I don’t even know if I’m in the streets, not in a relationship either. I believe that at the right time, I’d meet the right person. But also, one has to be intentional about dating. It’s all too confusing dating as an adult. As a teenager, our driving factor was the crushes we felt. Now, there’s so much complexities, so much hidden trauma. Like an army general, everyone is being too tactical on how to love, no one wants to be hurt, everyone wants to outsmart the other. These days, people date for the convenience of it and because of their nagging loneliness. I do not wish that for myself. So I will wait for the right time and with the right person. I hope love is kind to us all.
ReplyDeleteI really really want to rant as well but I’m going to maintain steeze and leave you with some thoughts of mine.
ReplyDelete• “Sincerely, I don’t think I know what love feels like but, it sure doesn’t feel like Chaos”.
• There are so many damaged souls that if you don’t guard your semi damaged one, it will become worse.
• Just find yourself a TRUTHFUL communicator.
• Don’t stop believing in love for It is indeed a beautiful thing but, at the same time, don’t believe in every I LOVE YOU.
Girllllllllll, you took the words right out of my mouth. Abeg make frogs no dey front oh, we have tried !
ReplyDeleteGirl!!! Have we met?? Looks like you just shared my tea here lol. Nice one
ReplyDeleteDidn’t even know how I landed here, Buh! Boy o boy… "I’m glad m here!!!" m finna say, we all gon b fine at the end of the day! buh "the end of the day" lately seem like forever. Sometimes awon shout, buh Omoh, aghats compose myself.
ReplyDeleteJust b a good person baby, do not, I repeat Do Not; try to change yourself for anyone, you’re perfect! and you’re irreplaceable… I don’t care if he’s with Beyoncé, she ain’t Me and that’s my POWER cause I AM ME.
What a fun and honest read this was. It conveys the level of frustration and sadness it needed to.
ReplyDeleteMy experiences are usually with friends and most recently, it's the emotional unavailability. Running away the moment an important conversation needs to be had, no matter how kindly you compose even with affirmations here and there. They just can't handle feeling any emotions, not to speak of expressing it. It is very sad and almost hurts to then think of how they personally experience the world.
I asked myself "what's all the hard work for?" then decided to walk away from the last when I realized it wasn't worth it.
Moving forward, I promise to regularly ask myself that question in my relationships.
Until we find better, Lerruz continue with loving our own selves, family, few good people, nature and exploring this wonderful world. ❤
Very relatable… I draw a very thick line when it comes to married folks, but right now these single guys are testing my patience because none of them know who they are or what they really want.
ReplyDeleteThe fact that I read *surprise surprise* in a singing tone just shows that the goal was achieved… My own is that I’ve seen shege this year from the hands of a few persons and one thing I would advice to single people is: Date because you are ready, not because you just want to be someone’s bae or boo. Because so many unready people have come my way and at the end of the day “when the trumpet sounds, unready people will be left behind”😂
ReplyDelete