Yard Girl

There is a version of adulthood nobody really prepares you for. The quiet version. Not the sitting-in-dark-rooms-crying-into-pillows kind. I mean the kind where silence slowly starts to feel more comfortable than conversation. Where being alone does not necessarily mean you are sad. Sometimes, it just means you are tired. Tired of responding. Tired of explaining. Tired of carrying your thoughts from one conversation to another. And the strange thing is, people rarely understand this. The moment you become quieter, people assume something must be wrong. “ Are you okay? ” “ You’ve been distant. ” “ You don’t talk to us anymore. ” And maybe they are not entirely wrong. But maybe adulthood simply does this to people. Because as you grow older, your mind becomes crowded in ways that are difficult to explain. There is always something sitting at the front of your thoughts. Work. Money. Fear. The future. Your family. The version of yourself you are still trying to become. And after carrying a...

  There is a specific kind of silence that fills a room before someone breaks your heart. Sometimes, it is not even a room. Sometimes, it is a phone call. And somehow, that feels worse. Because all you have is their breathing. Their pauses. The terrifying softness in their voice. Then they sigh. And your body knows before your mind catches up. Your throat tightens first. Then your chest. Then your thoughts begin scrambling for kinder explanations. Maybe that’s not what they mean. Maybe they’re overwhelmed. Maybe in the next five seconds, they’ll laugh and say, “I’m joking.” Even though you already know that kind of joke is expensive. Still, a part of you waits for it anyway. And then: “I want you to be happy.” As if happiness has ever survived a sentence like that. Because surely this cannot be happening. Not now. Not after you let them into your world so completely that even ordinary things began to feel softer with them inside it. Music sounded fuller. Colours looked more alive. ...

Hi. clears cobwebs* A friend reminded me that I have a whole blog. And that I used to lose my mind a little less when I had somewhere to come and just… write. I keep thinking about something, and you’ve probably heard people say it before “We couldn’t build the pyramids today.” It’s usually said like an insult. Like we’ve lost something. Like humans are not as capable as we once were. But I don’t think that’s true. If anything, I think we’ve become even more capable, just in ways that are harder to see. There are places in the world where entire cities were carved out of rock. Not assembled. Not layered. Carved. Like Petra. A whole city shaped out of stone. And I can’t stop thinking about what kind of mind it takes to even imagine that… and then actually do it. Because that same kind of human mind is still here. It’s the same mind that designed rockets, built launch pads, and made it possible for humans to leave Earth and travel to and orbit the Moon Missions like Artemis II, which rec...

Well, well, well… look who just turned 25. I feel like there should be a soundtrack playing right now. Something dramatic yet sparkly, maybe with a few confetti cannons. Because honestly? Getting here was no small feat. This year alone, I almost died (not to be dramatic… but also yes, to be dramatic). It was a year that scared, shaped, stretched, and somehow still managed to be one of my most beautiful years yet. I met good people—the kind of people who feel like a warm cup of tea on a rainy day—comforting, grounding, and exactly what you need. I learned how to show up more for the people I love, and spoiler alert: life is infinitely better when you make a conscious effort to love people loudly. Oh, and I moved to a different city in true “plot twist” fashion. Again. (Because apparently, my new annual tradition is packing my entire life into boxes and starting over.) Bold? Maybe. Stressful? Definitely. Worth it? Absolutely. Because somewhere in the middle of all the uncertainty, I real...

  The wicked ones are up! It’s such a crazy concept, you know, wickedness? You know what is right, but you do the opposite, knowing you are ruining someone else’s life. Anyway, if you can read this, it is my birthday. I like to keep my things brief, tho; I have no plans for my birthday this year. I had one before, tho, get a new apartment in a new city and open a bottle of red wine. Why did that plan change, you are asking? Well, maybe life in collaboration with wicked people ( Portharcourt housing agents). Anyway, I get to spend my 24th birthday, read as 19th, with my family. I even ironed the clothes I’ll wear today. Lol. My birthday plans made me realize that no matter how much I try to be in control of what goes on in my life, I can’t control EVERYTHING. It’s a very bitter pill, as bitter as those yellow uncoated anti-malaria tablets. Urgh! I can taste it in my mouth. 23 was quite a year. I took so many risks in my career, quitting a job with no backup plan, getting a new one i...