The Big Words

"Why don't you like Uncle Hakeem? "
"I don't know, I lowered my voice to a whisper. When I was going through his phone yesterday, I saw pornography and in one of them, there was a young girl, about 12 , Pere! She was my age...

"Shut up! So you still haven't stopped this habit of yours of checking people's phone with permission eh? and how did you know it was pornography ehen? Do you even know the meaning of pornography? Pere glared at me and went to help mama in the kitchen.

Back to Uncle Hakeem's first day as my home lesson tutor. I'd secretly prayed he wouldn't show up or his first son fell from a tree and broke his big head. Something, anything. Mum said she was heading out and would be back soon. "Open the door, only for Hakeem, when he comes, don't let him touch you o"
I wanted to ask her exactly what she meant by "Touch" but she'd already left.

Hakeem arrived and went straight to business, dad said to focus on quantitative reasoning, so when I got four exercises right, Hakeem patted my back and said  'Well done'. When mummy came back , I rushed to her and spilled to her that Uncle Hakeem had touched me, she dragged me to her room, panicking she asked
"Where did he touch you?"
I turned my back to her .
"Where? She said. Your back?
Yes.
"Silly girl! that's wasn't the type of touch I meant"
Mummy what type of touch did you mean?
I said more confused than ever.
She smiled, "Ebiere you wouldn't understand, these are really Big Words, you are too young to know them"

The BIG WORDS were not really mentioned in my home, when I started mensurating , no one really gave me the pep talk, mum just showed me how to use a sanitary pad and told me that my body was changing and would see this for every other month. And Dad! Dad just panicked anytime he saw me talking to a boy. There was a time I saw my period for more than a week and I honestly thought I was pregnant, -because my classmates had told me if a girl started seeing her monthly and a boy touched your ears she'd be pregnant- I didn't tell mum, else she'd kill me, I told Pere instead and she laughed long and hard and called me a silly girl.


When I got to the university and THE BIG WORDS hung heavy in the air and were thrown freely, I initially was taken aback. "Seriously! Do your parents know you say the BIG WORDS", I almost asked. I heard mysterious terms, very strange words, about a hundred of them just to describe one thing. SEX!
When my lecturer gave an assignment on Feminist Criticism and its Tenets I refrained from using the Big Words, when he called me to read my essay in front of the entire class.
He said "Use the actual terms! You are not a baby"
I braced myself  and read aloud;
      "Because I have a Vagina does not
    make me a Vagina, I'm more than just an object made for the sexual satisfaction of the opposite sex"

"Did you die" he asked
Yes I did, in a way. I was going to call mum and tell her I had tainted my tongue. I said the BIG WORDS! 💔