HAPPILY NEVER AFTER

By -
February 14th 2019.
Dear Diary, not to be a bother but I really am depressed today. Soji broke up with me last month and as much as I try to bury myself in work and read "moving on" quotes, it hurts, it hurts as hell. Two days later after I unblocked him, I check his profile and see a picture of an annoyingly beautiful lady. I made a  5 minute long voice note but deleted it, next day I see a post from him, a picture of him and 'miss beautiful' with the caption, "One month till forever💜" what was happening? Trying to figure out what was happening made my heart hurt more blocking him on the blue app would be shooting myself in the leg, I still wanted to be in the loop about what was going on with him, a stupid feeling but I still cared about him.

Karina described my love for Soji as an unending damnation, I concluded that she could never understand why I loved him, how I loved him because she was the vice president of "God when foundation", loving Soji made me feel like a toddler in a candy store, meeting his family, I wanted to be friends with everyone instantly, the way I sought to be so likeable makes me want to rip my skin off now.
Soji did not like too see me dressed in certain ways but greatly admired women dressed in same clothes he forbade me from wearing. He enjoyed being chased and not chasing me back, 3 weeks into our relationship and I was the only one doing the calling. I took a hint and almost left, he apologized. The roadshow continued. I found it funny how I always wanted to make sure he fitted in my life, my present and future but I didn't fit in his, every time he described his future wife, she didn't posses same physical qualities I did but we just laughed over it and had sex later, like having sex would ever make him change his mind about his perfect woman.
I have jealousy-control issues, something he  obviously was aware of before we started dating, yet he somehow used that against me and played on my emotions he was always around unapologetically flirtatious women and when I complained he blamed it all on "the nature of his job" and didn't even try to change.
So, when I finally decided to end things he said "Ebiere I love you and I had really big plans for you but you had to blow it, I am really heart broken" I almost made to pull him into my hands and not call it quits but something stopped me, two weeks later he's engaged. When will my dire stupidity ever end?
14th February 2019 and I'm here in my room, I won't go out because I can't stand to see people displaying serendipity and acting like happily ever after will be found with their present partners when we all know it will end in tears I'm Anti-cupid today and here's to happily-never-afters. 🍻

📷: Yard Girl
📷Credit: Belema Benita Oyilisi Ebe
#TheRedMonthSeries


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