HAPPILY NEVER AFTER

By -
February 14th 2019.
Dear Diary, not to be a bother but I really am depressed today. Soji broke up with me last month and as much as I try to bury myself in work and read "moving on" quotes, it hurts, it hurts as hell. Two days later after I unblocked him, I check his profile and see a picture of an annoyingly beautiful lady. I made a  5 minute long voice note but deleted it, next day I see a post from him, a picture of him and 'miss beautiful' with the caption, "One month till forever💜" what was happening? Trying to figure out what was happening made my heart hurt more blocking him on the blue app would be shooting myself in the leg, I still wanted to be in the loop about what was going on with him, a stupid feeling but I still cared about him.

Karina described my love for Soji as an unending damnation, I concluded that she could never understand why I loved him, how I loved him because she was the vice president of "God when foundation", loving Soji made me feel like a toddler in a candy store, meeting his family, I wanted to be friends with everyone instantly, the way I sought to be so likeable makes me want to rip my skin off now.
Soji did not like too see me dressed in certain ways but greatly admired women dressed in same clothes he forbade me from wearing. He enjoyed being chased and not chasing me back, 3 weeks into our relationship and I was the only one doing the calling. I took a hint and almost left, he apologized. The roadshow continued. I found it funny how I always wanted to make sure he fitted in my life, my present and future but I didn't fit in his, every time he described his future wife, she didn't posses same physical qualities I did but we just laughed over it and had sex later, like having sex would ever make him change his mind about his perfect woman.
I have jealousy-control issues, something he  obviously was aware of before we started dating, yet he somehow used that against me and played on my emotions he was always around unapologetically flirtatious women and when I complained he blamed it all on "the nature of his job" and didn't even try to change.
So, when I finally decided to end things he said "Ebiere I love you and I had really big plans for you but you had to blow it, I am really heart broken" I almost made to pull him into my hands and not call it quits but something stopped me, two weeks later he's engaged. When will my dire stupidity ever end?
14th February 2019 and I'm here in my room, I won't go out because I can't stand to see people displaying serendipity and acting like happily ever after will be found with their present partners when we all know it will end in tears I'm Anti-cupid today and here's to happily-never-afters. 🍻

📷: Yard Girl
📷Credit: Belema Benita Oyilisi Ebe
#TheRedMonthSeries


Comments

Post a Comment

I would think robots read this post if you don't leave a comment. Please leave a comment if you are not a robot. LOL.

Popular posts from this blog

Ooin! You Are Doing Well.

By -
Image
I wrote this especially for you. Yes, you! These are hard times, the economy is slowly turning upside down, there is a virus out there, your lifestyle has been in a way restricted, so much happening in, so little time. But, here you are alive, breathing, reading this and happy I believe. Ooin! You are doing well. The past few months has tested my will to live, when the lockdown started I would sit and complain about being bored, sometimes I would pray for it to end and sometimes bouts of depression threatened to take a hold of me. This is me appreciating myself and everyone in a somewhat similar situation for calming the raging storm in your soul, for being alive and keeping your head above the water. Dear You, there is a lot to celebrate about you, you have and are making progress, I applaud you for starting that project, I applaud you for finishing that project, for sending in your résumé, for taking on that job, for volunteering, for starting up your business, for being ...
Read more

The Adulting Dilemma; The Redundant Growth Phase.

By -
Image
  They did tell us many lies about this adulting thing. Many lies I say! One of the many things they "forgot" to mention is the Redundant Growth Phase. I don't know if you have experienced this but I have and still do. This phase is as weird as it sounds. It doesn't even feel like it's just a phase that will pass, this goes on from your teenage years to your adult years till when it feels like going away. Will this stage ever outgrow us?? I honestly have no idea. I'll try to explain this annoying phase. Imagine this: You, a fine young person, you know you have achieved a lot, you look at yourself in the mirror, a million and one dozen times and try to say how much proud you are of yourself but you just can't. Scratch the mirror. There's this constant feeling that the world has moved on and left you behind. Nobody wrote an official letter telling you the world is about to move. Nobody told you where it's moving to, but the world is moving and you ar...
Read more

The Post-Pandemic Effect And...

By -
Image
  H eyyyyo !! Yard Girl here! It's a new month! Happy May!  So, I was going to do the new month new me thing but Nah! Scratch that. Same old. Same old but a whole lot of things are going to change with this new month. This girl is going to be a graduate! Big news, no? Massive news, yes? I'm excited, you know.  First off, there's something I just recently discovered, it's called The Post-Pandemic Effect, you know me and my theories. Lol. I'll explain.  The Post-Pandemic Effect is mostly common among students, it occurs when you've been temporarily uprooted from a certain routine for an unusual period and you're suddenly forced back into that system. Then it dawns on you, how do you adjust? Studying? Social life? Friends? Finances? Are you still going to fit in?  I had to leave my job when school resumed. I admit I got used to the money. The money was good. I loved that place. I still can't get over that money and my daily routine. Lol. Surviving on a mont...
Read more