#HotPepperSoupSeries -TROUBLE MAGNET

I hated washing Papa's car, it was the most stressful and frustrating of all chores, I chose to wash the dishes over the car, but papa would never let me, the most frustrating part was that he would make me wash the car over and over, it was an upbeat Volkswagen, it wasn't special but my old man valued it over us, his children.

I washed the car, grumbling under my breath, papa stood outside, yelling at how ungrateful I was and how I'd missed a spot. He ordered me to wash the car for the next hour and went back into the house, I  thought he was bluffing. Immediately I heard the sound of his room door shut, I strolled to the mango and lay down on papa's ancient recliner.
 Wham! Wham! Two missiles landed on my face.
Papa shouted "stupid boy! I go inside for two seconds and you are the owner of the house?"
I fought to hold back the tears, he went inside, I wasn't a bastard to continue resting, I got back to washing the car.
Eguavon my cousin who came to live with us last year was strolling out of the compound, I didn't know why I called, I should never have called him,
"Eguavon afa na, where you dey go?"
"I just wan stroll go see my guys" he replied.
I nodded for him to carry on. He turned, walked two steps forward and turned slowly, looking at me, I saw a smirk begin to form at the corner of his lips, I knew he was plotting something evil.
"Did papa give you the keys to the car you are washing?
"Yes, why?" I replied, giving him the eye.
"Correct! Teddy my brother, you are in luck today, you big cousin Eguavon is going to take you on a cruise round town" he announced, smiling like he just won a lottery, Eguavon was four years older than I was but I could pass for his age.
"What are you talking about? Abeg I am not interested"
I wasn't going to fall for one of Eguavon's tricks again, why should I even be interested in what he had to offer, the same Eguavon that got us punished because he called the neighbour's wife "Orobor" , the same Eguavon that burnt papa's clothes with the coal iron because he made us spend the money meant for the dry cleaners, the same Eguavon that made me miss school twice because of PS2 tournament, he had landed me in too much trouble, I am wiser now. I should have been wiser, the next minute, I was listening to Eguavon's mischievous plan and agreeing to it.

I don't know how he did it but he convinced me that it was an awesome idea for us to take Papa's car and cruise around town, the main reason I bought the idea was because of Joy. Joy was the girl I had a crush on since I was in Jss2, Joy was currently dating a University undergraduate, a showoff and very ugly -if you asked me- I didn't even know what Joy saw in him, but I never tired of showing her how much I loved her, I made a mental note to pass by Joy's house whilst cruising papa's car, she would of course be in her mother's shop in front her Father's compound.

I opted to drive the car, the last time Eguavon drove the car, the driver's side mirror broke and I had to use all of my savings to replace it so papa wouldn't notice. Eguavon went to check if papa was still awake, no, he was fast asleep. Papa was a deep sleeper, so he would not hear the sound of the car. Me, seated behind the wheel and Eguavon in the passenger's seat, our friends hailing us, was a feeling worth a million naira. We cruised into Joy's street, I spotted her fair glowing skin, she was attending to a customer, she spotted me and stood mouth ajar, arms akimbo. I felt fly, determined to show her I was not a small boy, but a skilled driver, I proceeded to reverse the car in front of her compound's gate, my Cousin hailed me silently.
I felt on top of the world.

Ah! The brakes!! The brakes were not working, my village people, have done it.
 I tried to hit the brakes, but they were stiff. It was in that split second I remembered that papa had complained this morning about the brakes being faulty and his mechanic refusing to come fix them.

Crash!!! The car and Joy's gate kissed.
 I ran of the car immediately to see the bonnet reduced to two times its size. I was confused, I almost fainted. Papa was going to kill me today.
Why was Eguavon still seated in the car? He had once again put me in trouble and he just sat there?
"Eguavon! Eguavon!!" I screamed. No reply.
I turned round the car, opened the passenger door. Eguavon was unconscious, his head against the dashboard, blood trickling down his forehead.


Papa beat the black out of me. Mama joined him too.
" Your cousin. Slap. Is almost. Kick. Dead. Belt. Stupid boy". More slaps. At that moment I wished I never wore my seat belt and somehow got severely injured in the crash.
Eguavon was finally discharged from the hospital, and made me his slave whilst he was convalescence. After he was fully recovered, papa flogged both of us, for crashing his precious car. I was in pains, but it sure did make me happy seeing Eguavon cry.

Happy Easter💝
Love, Yard Girl