Yard Girl

I was always bothered about my eyes. (I'm cross-eyed BTW). Yes, I used to be ashamed of my eyes, there were times when I'd ask God why I had such "crazy eyes". Like I said. I was bothered, but not anymore. Being born with 'Boss eyes' wasn't easy, especially as a child, I had to struggle to keep steady eye contact with my classmates, some called me "witch" 😂 (nay!! like I care now) but back then those words hurt so much. I remember crying to mum and asked "mummy why are my eyes like this?" That was the same question everyone asked me "were you born with your eyes like this?" Mum replied my question "Sweetheart! Your eyes are pretty" I didn't believe her, at a point I hated my parents for choosing to bring me into the world with the most crazy pair of eyes. I continued with life, the same questions were still asked. Secondary school was worse, I stopped using my medicated glasses for awkward  reasons(d

        I've done alot of things in my life, but what happened that Christmas Eve was all on the Devil. It was December 24th 2006, I remember quite vividly, Harmattan was tearing up the little flesh I had on me, stubborn me, refused to wear a shirt "Hard guy, Hard guy!", With my then over-flowing tap of a navel, I looked like a homeless child, I didn't care. I was with Grandma, I could do whatever I wanted and would get away with it. I went to the neighbor's house in search of Osaretin. We were so excited, Christmas was the next day, y'all know what that meant na, especially for 8 year olds, it sure meant alot to us.        Now Osaretin and I had gathered up some money for knockouts (bangers) and disco lights just for the fun of it, the greatest obstacle was convincing my big sister to show us where we could get the quality stuff. We begged and begged, I even battered my Christmas meat in exchange for this information. Las las, hanty didn't even know

DETTY DECEMBER!!!! Three weeks ago "Detty December" began to trend, at first I wondered ' ahan! What is this one again', till a friend said it was a new Nigerian slang to emphasize the level of flexing that was associated with the end of the year. Piggy banks will be broken, prices of foodstuffs, clothes will increase,but the december will still be Detty. In all your dettiness, think about January and the following months.😀 How is your December going? Is it Detty already? What is your definition of detty December? My honest definition of detty December is quality time with my family, my friends and there's me making plans to meet people and sadly never leaving my house😂 Oh oh! It's also funny how people have placed value so much on the 25th and 26th December that you'd think the remaining days of the month are rubbish. Oh well... Ciao Adios! Happy Detty December.

"Why don't you like Uncle Hakeem? " "I don't know, I lowered my voice to a whisper. When I was going through his phone yesterday, I saw pornography and in one of them, there was a young girl, about 12 , Pere! She was my age... "Shut up! So you still haven't stopped this habit of yours of checking people's phone with permission eh? and how did you know it was pornography ehen? Do you even know the meaning of pornography? Pere glared at me and went to help mama in the kitchen. Back to Uncle Hakeem's first day as my home lesson tutor. I'd secretly prayed he wouldn't show up or his first son fell from a tree and broke his big head. Something, anything. Mum said she was heading out and would be back soon. "Open the door, only for Hakeem, when he comes, don't let him touch you o" I wanted to ask her exactly what she meant by "Touch" but she'd already left. Hakeem arrived and went straight to business, dad sa