Yard Girl

Let's Gist! When I do think about it, singlehood isn't my choice but I'm basking in the ambiance of it, don't get me wrong, I want to love and be loved, everyone wants love but no one wants wrong love. I asked some ladies and here's what they had to say:          ** ** I thought I'd met the perfect guy, really artsy just like me, I didn't have to make it so obvious I was into him, he jumped on the same vibe. When we spent the first night together and I calmly told him I wouldn't to get intimate immediately, he didn't argue or complain, after that weekend, our relationship changed to sour egusi soup. He told me the truth eventually. He had a girlfriend. So yes, I'm single because I could get played. I'm guarding what is left of my sanity.         ** ** My ex broke up with me for the first time. His reason; "I want to draw closer to God" I swallowed it, didn't react but every time I remember th...

I never thought I would do this. This isn't even on my list of 20 crazy things to do before I'm 25 -Yes I've got a list- But hey! Life happens, here I am shopping for the perfect dress to crash a wedding. You are shocked? Chill I'll give you the gist. I met Kelvin at a friend's wedding reception. We were seated at the same table, this friend was a  distant acquaintance, I just had to attend so I wouldn't labelled bad belle. Unfortunately, my womanity suprised me, after I looked all peng! Cramps threatened to rip my dress apart. Whilst the couple was making an entrance into the hall, I could barely stand for few seconds, the cramps pulled me down to my seat ( the perks of being female🙄)  He sat down, pulled his chair closer to mine.         "Hey you good? Jesus! His voice, I almost died, I caught myself.   "Yeah, I'm good, just a little feminine ish" I rolled my eyes. He chuckled "Oh I totally understand...

                                     Let's pray Bow towards a holy land Weep on the walls of a holy city Let blood on a sacred ground Pin a staff by a riverbank Let's pray I've found a spot in a crumbling fortress I've made an altar on Mount Vulcan Let's pray Make it fervent, make it calm Make it subtle, make it fire Give me freedom, keep me bound Give me chaos, give me salvation Call me child then, make me the enemy Tie me down with a banner of peace Cuff me in chains and tell me "damnation"! When I seek Show me a path called mystery When I ask Give me a potsherd to ease my inquisition Almighty, all-being Divided amongst men Each brings a portion and call it only Each shows a path and call it true. Each way is upright, the rest, the fate of Babylon Each is just, all others are iniquity Let's pray That when I see, I'm forever lost That when I'm lost,...

Scenario: You, a pretty girl, intelligent, hardworking, you are regularly irregular. And you wonder, why am I still single? You are supposed to be with the LOYL at this stage of your life, but you are not. So, infinitely you have kissed a lot of frogs but your Prince charming has gone AWOL. What to do?? You meet this guy. Good looking, successful, will fit into your tik-tok videos, most importantly you don't have to make the first move, (at last someone who knows your worth) it is what you need. You vow to not fall in love so soon, you want to take your time to see if he loves you, you act mature and self-conscious around him but deep down you want to rip his clothes off and you literally worship the ground he walks on. Your friends have told you they don't trust your new man, (what do they know, enemies of progress) you've heard the rumours, your man is a Casanova, still you don't believe, his exes tell you to be careful, not to fall prey, but you thi...

E veryone who lived on Sixth Street was scared of the abandoned house, rumour had it that the owners of the house placed it under a curse, and the last family that lived in the house died mysteriously,  all found suspended from the ceiling fan in different rooms. Suicide!  I would boast to my friends that one day my dad would rent a house near the abandoned house and nothing would happen to us, I was thrilled with the mere fact of the house being supposedly haunted. So when dad announced we were moving out of our comfortable 3-bedroom apartment, I was super excited I'd thought my dreams were finally coming true. Our new house on the sixth street in front of the abandoned house was different, there was no running water, it had only two rooms which were a little too small, one which I now had to share with my sister, the parlor was the size of my former bedroom. It was uncomfortable, but dad explained, that he did not have enough money, so we had to manage the new tiny ho...

I hated washing Papa's car, it was the most stressful and frustrating of all chores, I chose to wash the dishes over the car, but papa would never let me, the most frustrating part was that he would make me wash the car over and over, it was an upbeat Volkswagen, it wasn't special but my old man valued it over us, his children. I washed the car, grumbling under my breath, papa stood outside, yelling at how ungrateful I was and how I'd missed a spot. He ordered me to wash the car for the next hour and went back into the house, I  thought he was bluffing. Immediately I heard the sound of his room door shut, I strolled to the mango and lay down on papa's ancient recliner.  Wham! Wham! Two missiles landed on my face. Papa shouted "stupid boy! I go inside for two seconds and you are the owner of the house?" I fought to hold back the tears, he went inside, I wasn't a bastard to continue resting, I got back to washing the car. Eguavon my cousin who came...

You know hot pepper soup, the type that makes you want to strip, the type that makes your tongue go up in flames literally. Yes, that one! I was in this pepper soup. I had just finished my exams and I was super excited, the semester had been stressful, I had lost weight, I looked like a hot mess, I really just needed a touch of home. I packed my bags, I was heading back home but not straight to my father's house. No, I wanted to be pampered not caged immediately, I was going to stay the weekend with the LOML before I got home. This was risky business, dad was almost always in Warri, but I didn't care, love they say is blind but mine was blind and was bound to land me in trouble. I suspected Loml was having an affair, so he spent the entire weekend proving to me how much he loved me, I foolishly believed him. I was high on cheap love. Even though he stepped out a couple of times to answer "strange" calls and I saw a female underwear that wasn't mine in t...