Yard Girl

  They did tell us many lies about this adulting thing. Many lies I say! One of the many things they "forgot" to mention is the Redundant Growth Phase. I don't know if you have experienced this but I have and still do. This phase is as weird as it sounds. It doesn't even feel like it's just a phase that will pass, this goes on from your teenage years to your adult years till when it feels like going away. Will this stage ever outgrow us?? I honestly have no idea. I'll try to explain this annoying phase. Imagine this: You, a fine young person, you know you have achieved a lot, you look at yourself in the mirror, a million and one dozen times and try to say how much proud you are of yourself but you just can't. Scratch the mirror. There's this constant feeling that the world has moved on and left you behind. Nobody wrote an official letter telling you the world is about to move. Nobody told you where it's moving to, but the world is moving and you ar...

  No jokes, it is what it is! I went from "I want to be a doctor" and evolved to "I want to be a pharmacist" and the monotone changed to "I want to be a lawyer" and now, I'm currently in my finals studying English, working a full-time job as a content developer/projects manager and being frustrated by the Nigerian government featuring ASUU. Na wah! Agreeably, all we wanted to do when we were younger was GROW UP! Now, I just want to put my life on pause and probably reverse this growth. Every day I wake up as an "adult" with more things to worry about. I'm low-key trying to catch cruise and chop life because problem no dey finish but the reality is still going stare me right in the face. We grew up with a lie "when you grow, you can do what you want" well, Auntie Bola, I'm all grown up now, but I can't do what I want because you lied to me, you didn't tell me getting into University would be as hard as trying to get...

Been a minute yeah?! What's good? What's Poppin? There's so much to catch up on. Well, these past months have been…. Overwhelming. I want to say it has been rosy but I'm gonna say it like it is. The most important thing is I'm alive to write this and you are alive to read this. What more could I ask for?  My country certainly has a way to rearrange your plans. I mean, I was supposed to be done with my undergraduate degree before I clocked 20 but E B things. ASUU got in the way, the pandemic backed it up and after 7 whole months just when it seemed the whole pandemic phase was over and we began to attend parties and discard face masks, the nationwide #Endsars protest -which I am very proud to have been part of- began. And it was and still is a mentally and physically draining part of Nigerian history because we are asking for one thing, just one thing; STOP KILLING US. And they still kill us for asking not to be killed. Wow! Just wow! I don't want to dive into ...

I wrote this especially for you. Yes, you! These are hard times, the economy is slowly turning upside down, there is a virus out there, your lifestyle has been in a way restricted, so much happening in, so little time. But, here you are alive, breathing, reading this and happy I believe. Ooin! You are doing well. The past few months has tested my will to live, when the lockdown started I would sit and complain about being bored, sometimes I would pray for it to end and sometimes bouts of depression threatened to take a hold of me. This is me appreciating myself and everyone in a somewhat similar situation for calming the raging storm in your soul, for being alive and keeping your head above the water. Dear You, there is a lot to celebrate about you, you have and are making progress, I applaud you for starting that project, I applaud you for finishing that project, for sending in your résumé, for taking on that job, for volunteering, for starting up your business, for being ...

I hadn't received holy communion in a long while, I just had to receive it today, something kept pulling me and I didn't realize that I was in front of the altar, palms ready to receive the body and blood of Christ. My mind was playing games on me, the priest looked exactly like the man I murdered last week. I blinked multiple times, it was him! Giving holy communion to parishioners, I tried to stand, but my body betrayed me, it felt like my knees were fixed to the ground. I looked up at the life-sized crucifix of the brunette Jesus Christ, it looked like the painted blood was actually flowing from his side, I bowed my head. ****** “Guy, I'm telling you, this is the last job you'll do for me. This is a special order bro, the pay is good, it will set you up for life” Ifechukwu was trying to convince me to do one more job after I plainly told him I was done when I collected my last paycheck. My last job was a clean one, it was my last, I wanted to be my last,...

#JusticeForUwa Yesterday was terrible for me and I believe every human who read of this tragedy. It was my mentor's birthday, still, I was too shocked to call her or even make it for her online book launch😔 I couldn't have a straight conversation. People were wilding. I learned a lot of things yesterday. Chief of all was, you never truly know humans till matters like these or similar arise. People asked stupid questions, "logical reasoning" they called it; why was she in church? What was she reading for? She nor get a house? Na lie eh, she probably went somewhere else and not a church? The police should get to the real reason behind this tragedy, they said. If you are looking for answers to your "logical questions" you are inhumane and you are justifying rape and you know what that makes you right? Rape is rape, it doesn't matter how you dress, where you were, the kind of friends you have. It is still forceful penetration WITHOUT consent...

Let's Gist! When I do think about it, singlehood isn't my choice but I'm basking in the ambiance of it, don't get me wrong, I want to love and be loved, everyone wants love but no one wants wrong love. I asked some ladies and here's what they had to say:          ** ** I thought I'd met the perfect guy, really artsy just like me, I didn't have to make it so obvious I was into him, he jumped on the same vibe. When we spent the first night together and I calmly told him I wouldn't to get intimate immediately, he didn't argue or complain, after that weekend, our relationship changed to sour egusi soup. He told me the truth eventually. He had a girlfriend. So yes, I'm single because I could get played. I'm guarding what is left of my sanity.         ** ** My ex broke up with me for the first time. His reason; "I want to draw closer to God" I swallowed it, didn't react but every time I remember th...